I don’t understand why I feel the need to post whenever I’m sad or lonely.

I don’t want them to be read by those it’s about.

I don’t want to be consoled by my friends.

It’s becoming less and less effective as a form of venting too.

I feel so hopeless and I’m just desperate to do anything that might make me feel less like this for even a second, I think. But why does it feel more pointless any time I write it down in something only I can see? Do I secretly want to make people feel awful and scrounge for attention? Am I just a terrible person trying to pretend I’m something else?

Fuck, I just set myself up for feeling like this too, I’m almost going out of my way to find stuff that will depress me.

“You know what they say about good times, don’t you?”

“Leaving this world is not as scary as it sounds”


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