Wham! Bam! It’s two posts back to back, the crowd is going wild!
So recently, ever since I’ve gotten out of my funk a couple weeks back I’ve been trying to focus on some self improvement, mostly my confidence.
I don’t want to say I lack self-esteem, but I definitely do lack confidence.
With friends, unless we are talking about a particular couple of subjects I feel like I’m terrible to talk to in person, giving short uninteresting replies, my jokes fall flat, and my stories ramble on until everyone is just kinda confused and bored. And that’s how I feel to my friends! I feel a million times worse talking to people I only slightly know, my mind goes completely blank and I never know what to say to start or extend the conversation, I may as be the guy who’s only small talk is “so what about this weather huh???”. And this is made even worse when talking to girls and I have no idea why! I “”like”” dudes just as much as girls so I don’t think it’s because of that, and to be cliche as fuq, I know they’re people, just the same as me, so I don’t know why I freeze up so easily around them. I’m reminded of a time at a party I went to where I was sitting next to someone, and I wanted to speak to them, not hit on them or flirt or anything mind you, just chat to them, but I couldn’t bring myself to even say hi. I just feel when it comes to talking to people, the other person has to do all the work and that isn’t fair on them, I want to be more charismatic, but I have no idea where to start.
I’ve also been thinking about my hobbies, and it comes down to;
Hanging out with friends
Listening to music
Now don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love doing these things and wouldn’t stop doing any of them, but I just feel so, I don’t know, bland? Literally everyone else in the world does those 3 things! And has something else on top of these that makes them way more interesting, cool and have fun stories. Whenever I’ve tried picking something else up I never had a passion for it in a way that makes me want to keep at it.
I’m scared of being boring, or at least seeming it.