I really applaud and admire people like Angharad (P), Elyssa and James because they all put effort into their activities which really goes beyond what is expected of them. They have a passion or a drive to do that thing and they get rewarded for it.
I, meanwhile, put a lot into one particular project and nothing much comes out of it.
What’s the point of trying if you know you can just achieve average? Does the world really need more average?
All these people are tall, handsome, confident, competent, smart and so full of vigor, so full of life- their passion is barely contained in their speech, their face is as jubilant and as radiant as when they first looked out on life. They make up all our heroes, all the little reasons we have to be happy, to go on living. Then there’s me: an energy black hole, the cold, the bleak.