‘Guac em dead


Right mateys, I’m about to teach you how to make something delicious, healthy AND cheap! Seriously, the most expensive part of this was the salt lmao.

Home made guac dip, it’s the good shit.

1Firstly lets all appreciate the only good quality picture my phone will take is of some veg now onto ingredients;

2 Ripe, Ripe Avocados, if its too firm to mash, leave em behind
1/2 A tomato, unfortunately Asda don’t do halves so i had to get a full one, wastage!
2 Chillis of your choice, you bet your ass I got jalepinos, but apparantly Serranos are great here too
1 Red Onion, we will only need a slight bit, but same problems we had with the tomato, rip
Some fucking coriander! I love how this stuff smells!! yeahh!!!
A lime, shit man you know that juice is going to be making these flavours combine so wonderful
Rock/Kosher Salt + Pepper, you see that tub there? Rock salt, pepper and dried bell pepper mix, money well spent.

2First things first! De-seed and de-centre the chilli and and tomatos, then finely chop the coriander, chilli, red onion and tomato. Don’t even think about those avocados til this is done, just don’t!

3Ok now you can think about those avocados, get your favourite bowl and put the avocado flesh in, start mashing away with a fork! Get em as smooth as you like. Me? I prefer a little chunkiness to em if you know what I mean.

Then sprinkle half a teaspoon of salt on top, a sprinkling of pepper, cut your limes into quarters and squeeze the juice into your guac mash and gently fold it in. Did you know the acid in the lime will help preserve the guac from going brown? Practical AND delicious, marry me already limes.

4Next throw in your finely chopped half tomato, about 2 tablespoons of red onion and coriander each and your chillis of choice and be just gentle mixing it as you were with the lime and salt. No one likes someone whose overly forceful, what would your mother think?

5Wait shit, we’re done? That was easy! Get out your favourite (cheapest) tortilla chips and lager pretending to be from mexico and dig into that shit and become the mayor of flavourtown. Nice!

For real though, if we factor out the posh salt, total price of the guac ingredients came to about £3.50, it’s healthy as fuck, delicious as fuck and easy as fuck. Plus makes you sound pretentious as fuck i bet when you tell people how you prefer your homemade stuff to the shit you get from the shop, you hipster,

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