Of all the things I’ve never done.

I never became a gymnast, I went to a single lesson and never went again. I don’t remember why.

I never became a professional inline skater, I broke my wrist and never went back to the skate park… I was always “busy”. In reality I was just scared of getting hurt again.

I never became a tree surgeon, I just wanted to seem cool to the careers advisor. This one I’m glad for, I really wasn’t fit enough.

I never became a marine biologist because at 5, I thought I’d just get to play with dolphins all day, when I found out actual work was Involved? No thanks.

I never became an actor, I never really wanted to be one but I seemed to be pretty good at it and at that point making my mum happy was something I put effort into. That all ended upon her first drunken rampage. I used to think she was mad that I was doing well, I’ve recently changed that opinion to pity. She was just mad that she never did anything with her life.

Sometimes I lament at all the possible opportunities in my life that I may have passed up, either through me not being strong enough to go for them or not having the circle of support other people have when their parents are functioning adults.

But mostly I’m happy with my lot. I’ve struggled a great deal, not only with large terrible events but sometimes with just normal human interaction. I still don’t get people to some extent. Though I’m not sure if that’s just due to my upbringing.

Either way, this is here nor there nor does this post have an overarching point. I just felt like writing something down about aspirations.


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