The fear of creation


I had a weird feeling this month that i’ve not ever had in my life.

The idea that I shouldn’t bother creating something because it’s too much work or it probably wouldn’t be good anyway. Making a travel video, starting a business, creating a blog post, writing an article… the list goes on.

 

This really fucked me up because if you know me at all these things define me as a person. The food that I create needs to not only be fucking delicious, but also look the fucking moms potatoes as well. The same goes for everything I do, fuck you and your £100 mobile phone, I’d much rather put myself through heart break, stress and anguish get the thing I actually desired and buy my phone I have today. That’s me.

 

But in November, that wasn’t me. I got some serious blues and didn’t really know what to do with myself. I felt lazy with my friends, with my life passions and just with myself in general.

Something that no one ever talks about is their sex lives, like; understandably, our lord and saviour LP-sama would have us all executed…

But I think I have a pretty high sex drive, like, abnormally high. Like, I want to feel good as often as possible you know, in everything. Have meaningful conversations, do something i’ve never done before and I think I find almost absolute comfort and peace in being extremely intimate with the person I’m close with.

But what if that just faded away for a month you know? That’s happened with my passion to create and I’m unsure where to find it.

So I’m working at it.

And that’s where I am today.

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